bOZEMAN dAILY cHRONICLE, Friday, September 19, 2008 Records/Regions
Police Reports
The Bozeman Police Department reports for Friday include the following:
Early Friday morning, an officer responded to an alarm at Party On, located on N. 19th. When the officer arrived on the scene he found that one of the large glass windows was broken and several items appeared to be missing.
Officers responding to a report of a loud party observed numerous underage drinkers entering and exiting the residence. The police also noted that there were piles of dead bird and fish carcasses outside the residents. When the officers knocked on the door the male renter locked the door and turned the music up. The officers were discouraged and left.
Just after midnight, an officer assisted the fire department in extinguishing a burning mattress in the middle of Bozeman Trail Road. A young man was arrested in association with the fire for urinating on the flames. He claims he had been at a weeklong party and felt that his larger than normal intake of fluids would be beneficial to the fire department.
A Bozeman man was severely injured Friday afternoon when a stampede of camera carrying citizens ran him over near Bluebird Ln. off of Bozeman Trail Road. The large herd of people was not found, but a statewide search party has been established to find the hit and run offenders.
Notice: All Bozeman citizens should be aware that today law 1697 section B has been put into effect. This law states that the “consequences of curiosity,” will be strictly and readily enforced only by the Bozeman Police Department and Gallatin County Sheriff’s Department.
911 dispatchers reported a fake phone call from a woman claiming she was going to die from fright. Police passed on the opportunity to deal with the troubled woman.
The Gallatin County Sheriff’s Department responded to a noise ordinance complaint near Three Forks at a place called the Meadows. The noise turned out to be a meeting of the secret society, The Pentavirate. All members of the society were arrested except Colonel Sanders who somehow escaped.
A herd of sheep was rounded up by the Bozeman Animal Control division that had somehow gotten loose and was creating a large dust storm in the southeast end of the valley. No sheep were injured in this rescue attempt.
Two men, waving guns out of the windows of their 1984 DeLorean escaped three patrol cars in a high speed pursuit Friday.
A domestic disturbance was reported at 1341 Bozeman Trail Road late Friday night. When the police approached the residents of Colonel Sanders they found him dead. He had been shot and run over, which appeared to have been done by a 1984 DeLorean. In related news, the police officers had also found a hideous costume on the man, which turned out to be the same costume stolen from PartyOn that morning. The costume was returned.
By John Nehring
I feel like I need to clarify some things about this displacement. In class, before my presentation, I said that all of these reports were true. I was saying that more for the effect than the actual factual basis behind these police reports. That doesn't mean that these aren't true, but rather that most of these police reports are based, some more loosely than others, on real police reports that I found. For example, the male urinating on the mattress, that did actually happen, and in fact it happened right outside of my house awhile ago. I took real life police reports from the past and changed them to fit my fairytale.
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